As an assistant professor my interest in attending the meeting was only too academic. To the most part of the day, it was what was expected: the cry of the small business owners that banks and other investors don’t support them as much as they should. But when Mr. Ramesh Kumar (CII MSME Committee) took over, the picture started changing to a more balanced perspective. With a panel that represented banks, nonbanking financial corporations, venture capitalists, angel investors, private equity consultants and other governmental bodies who raise funds, he tried placing a few points in the heads of the borrowers (fund seekers). I found reasons why it was important.

Four presentations caught my attention for four different reasons:

1. Presentation One: The fund seeker was in the business of training different IT Courses, and had a revenue of INR 18 Lacs, with an annual profit of INR 1.5 Lacs. His fund request was about INR 1 Crore that was supplemented with what he alleges to be a business plan (an excel sheet that shows how he can pay back). The venture capitalist on stage had just one question to this proposal! “Can you give it all to me in one page stating why you think you will be successful?“. The answers to that were lame; I thought it was waste of time.
2. Presentation Two: The man who presented looked firm, confident and explained their business, dairy. The annual turnover was at INR 64 Crore, and they were seeking another INR 30 Crore to expand their business. Again, the question was same from the panel of investors. Only this time, the man gave an answer that was as firm as he looked. He said, “We are the one of the first players in the business. Our growth projections are reasonable. We offer an exciting exit plan for the investors“. It was sufficient to create a discussion among the panel. Just as I thought this man would get the fund he sought, he murmured during lunch with me that their business may be expanded even without this funding assistance, and that he found alternative ways to do it. Amazed I am with his confidence, and more with his preparation!
3. Presentation Three: The man looked professional in his approach. And before I saw him on stage, I found him networking actively. He probably won half the game there! When he was done presenting his set of slides, he convinced the panel that it was a business in which he faces no competition, and that there is a high entry barrier. What I am surprised is the ease with which he could drive his point through! I think he got a cheque before he left the meet. By the way, he was selling fish.
4. Presentation Four: The man was an experienced engineer, looked like a bureaucrat too. His idea was genuine, offers exceptional operational gains, though I must say it is not a ground-breaking innovation. His presentation did not really seek funds, but sought assistance on identifying the prospective investors (wonder if he thought there was a difference, at least on this stage!). That he was a technical man (if that makes sense), and not a finance man (excuse me again) was his point that prompted him to make that kind of a request. I pity his understanding of the meet, but can’t resist admiring his ideas and the magnitude of gains that he showed are possible. Indian railways has a lesson to learn from him, and they can save upto INR 600 Crore at least every year.

It was all business upto this point. There were seekers meeting the investors; some got washed away in questions, and some ended discussing. But here comes another man, an alumni of IIM, white haired and with wrinkles on his face, to talk about executive coaching and how it can help the businessmen to get the best out of themselves. I appreciate his points, but on the forum I must admit, it looked out of place. When it was business all through, talk of coaching seemed like a rat trying to find a piece of cheese in a prince’s ball.

Another CII Meet today, this time on Doing business with UK, at Green Park, Vizag. Let me see if I find something better here…

11:50 PM it is before everyone comes in, and waits for the boss to join. Chatter begins and speculation ends as the agenda of the meeting is about deciding (did we have a choice?) to spend a couple of lacs on purchasing a shallow idea that adds a delta benefit if all goes well; perhaps it is that delta which comes freely if really all goes well. The guest from GHOST, an organization that has a fortune 500 client base with an overall client base of 20000 plus organizations, is given the opportunity to present his proposal. And he took off!

The idea is…we give you…you would get…there are benefits…we brand…provide visibility…many others have bought…we are the best…

What is funny in all this is that GHOST did not have a product they owned. What they came in is with a service they were piloting on us (oops, did I bluntly spell it out?). And the wise men chairing the meeting asked a valid question!

Is there a commitment?

The response to that from representative of GHOST was heard as,

I respect…I truly agree… you are right…I appreciate…you should be critical…company doesn’t allow us to commit, but… we deliver…

I understand, like all others in that meeting, that GHOST has proved that it is a leader in its line of busyness. What I did not know till then was that bargaining and business meeting is still the same, no matter whether the organization is a GHOST or a GORILLA or for that matter even a GOAT. I see that almost all business meetings have same type of language used; curse my work on communication if you are a marketer or a business developer. So discussing, the representative from GHOST suddenly jumped out of conversation claiming that he had a flight to catch–after all, playing big is one trick of selling dodos.

And then, there was an open forum for members to share their views on what can be concluded. I recall Bernard Shaw saying, God is a comedian who performs to an audience too afraid to laugh. There were views all lined up in support (or sucked into the shallowness) of GHOST’s proposal. I played fool to not be the one with an eye. And so the meeting concluded at 13:10 PM!

Just as I want to say Thank God for giving such fun and opportunity to learn, here comes another call for a meeting. What awaits thee now!?

Early Morning, Today:

“Sir, Wake up. We are at the college” were the words I had to hear from a student who himself was feeling uncomfortable to disturb me from my deep sleep in the college bus. I hope I did not snore.

Late Evening, Yesterday:

“I can suggest you exercises to get rid of cramps. All you have to do is stretch like this..” and as I was demonstrating, I fell victim to those untimely cramps. With who and where did it happen? It happened when I was talking with my wife, and we were amidst all my family members. Lucky thing, I had my dad attend to me immediately!

Afternoon, Yesterday — Business meeting:

Him: What do you do at MVGR?

Me: I teach.

Him: May I know what you teach?

Me: Statistics, Operations Research, Research Methodology

Him: ….. (confused look, because I was talking “finance” in the meeting)

Me: I teach any math based subject.

…a minute later, we were discussing the cost details of the training they might be able to provide to our students, and…

Me: Can you give me the basis of costing  your training program?

Him: It is on a per hour basis; we pay the trainers about INR 1500 per hour.

Me: How many hours do you think the training would stretch to?

Him: We suggest a 30-hour program.

Me: So, approximately we are talking INR 4.5 Lacs, correct?

Him: ….. (confused again..), at that price, I can deploy the original software in your entire college, Sir!?

Me: *&!?$@#

Satan Secretary has given a brief glimpse that she might be on a different route, but inadvertently she keeps coming back to her bad habits–a mark of satan. Again, I think ignorance would be my answer for one more semester.

Job has been exciting. Changes were made to my role, of which some I desired and some I dreaded. Part of the new role was getting jobs for students. I recently figured out that professionalism needs no neighbor, for someone showed me that jobs can be bought in deals for drools. It makes worthwhile presenting business in a suit and just case.

What I thought was an opportunity seems to catch up with the frog in the brew. I once tasted mediocrity, and I think I should add a little spine to change the taste of the brew that is getting ready in the next few months. I guess language that is shallow yet sweet is a reasonable solution. Why won’t you support this?

Can’t accurately figure out the reason why, but technological independence makes me feel having more time to critique. If it is good, I began critiquing myself. If it is bad, give me lucrative jobs.

Like every January that brings a new year, it brings to me destabilizing news, either happy or not. This January, I lost my lappy, bought a kindle fire; lost a relative, my friend is getting married; bought jobs for my students, struck a deal with a start up firm; wrote for money and gained, wanted more of it and lost. All in all, the month was eventful.

Lot in store for the next month, and there are targets I am chasing.

I invested in the share market.

It is a kind of courageous statement for someone who had a painful answer to a rather curious question: how can I be rich? The lessons from my stock market investments have been too costly for me to venture getting the complete answer. But over time, I have learnt that investing is not necessarily the best way to learn the trade. There are other sources too! And frankly, in the kind of financial complexity that we live in, I think one needs to be aware of various investment opportunities and how they might fare well before putting in their money. Thanks to the recent developments I went through; my boss, the head of the department has recently been trained by SEBI, India to deliver such awareness sessions, and he had done one of his first few sessions in our college itself. I would not call it a complete guide to financial investing, however, it at least sets up a platform from where I can plan further.

Recalling, there were times I said, I will never again invest in stock market. Perhaps it is time for me to revisit that line and see if it is worth sticking in my head. At the moment, I just wish as I am about to experiment again, that the financial systems offered to its consumers, a way out of complexity through straight talk.

______

Here is one website I have recently stumbled on, Loans.net. On the face of it, it was hard for me to identify what this was all about. But soon figured out that this was one system that integrates financial instruments for various organisations and offers the one that best fits the customers’ need. It also has lots of content that talks about different kinds of loans. Perhaps, this is one kind of place where I want to begin–draw money, and then invest.

Question One: Why do we select the point of intersection that is closest to the horizontal axis when we solve games using graphical method?

Question Two: In a transportation problem, why do we form a circuit when we want to identify how much the allocation should be modified and where?

Question Three: If we talk of Six sigma, is it really about accommodating six standard deviations in the process or should it be about reducing the absolute standard deviation?

Goodness me, there is some talent out there.

That is not all I had this semester. There were a couple of embarrassing moments that is attributed to the efforts to try and over teach (not so desirable) and to the efforts of trying to explain the fundamentals more than required (no so needed, I find now). The first moment, I missed computing the standard deviation and got the problem wrong, and it took me a second after stepping out of the class to identify what mistake I committed. But the twenty minutes I struggled in the class remains an experience. On the second moment, I explained game theory very convincingly through out only spoiling one last procedure. I had forgotten substituting calculated values in the original equations to find out the whole range of values required.

If you think these were silly, I am assuming (actually I shouldn’t hope) the students caught more than what I had known myself committing in lectures.

If I were to mention one significant learning from this semester of teaching, I would say it, but it would not be ground-breaking. I figured out that supplying material to students prior to the class is as effective as supplying no material. The later can at least save me some time and energy.

What would I be doing next semester? I am eagerly planning things.

Wish me good luck.

I persisted with a habit for two years, and I can proudly claim to be a passionate blogger. Before I proceed to write something about the last year of blogging, it was refreshing to read what I had written at the end of first year. Much of what was written in that post is now a part of why I began blogging and lies in the ‘About‘ page. And now, blogging means even more to me! Here is a sneak peek into my blogging so far.

Posts:

In the first year of blogging, I had published 160 posts, most of which were amateur fiction. In the second year, I had published 165 posts, most of which were about my fascinating life. The change is because I have observed that there are more real stories around me than the ones I wanted to create. And true to the point, the posts in second year did flow more smoothly compared the dramatic twists I created in my little one-minute stories. Also, the posts in second year had presented varied emotions which I experienced, which were not always ecstatic. What more! Since I was writing my experiences, my posting frequency grew more consistent.

Readers:

At the end of first year, the hit count on my blog was a little under 4000. At the end of second year, the hit count is a little over 20000. That is a four-fold improvement in the number of hits. Also, at the end of first year, I had three subscribers to my blog. And now, there are 24 subscribers, and a lot more who follow it on twitter/facebook. The site statistics convince me that the readers base is quite broad and is spread across the country, and in case of specific posts across the world, more specifically in Scottish, North-American, and Australian Regions. What I want to say here is… “Thanks for reading. You encourage me to write more.”

Theme:

WordPress.com does a great job at providing themes that can fit any blogger’s requirements. Celebrating my blog’s second anniversary, I decided to own a premium theme that offered a little more customization options unlike the open themes. So, I bought ‘Linen’, a theme in which you would read this blog for most part of the next year, or until I find a more appealing theme. And taking my friends’ suggestion, I increased the font size in the posts to make them easier to read. Hope you find it good.

Anomalies: 

Surprising me too, the most read post on my blog even today is the ‘Bales SYMLOG Model‘. That alone has more than a thousand reads, and speaks for how significant the topic is. Sometimes I wonder, if I should consider doing a little more research and post a little more on the same. But then, that is reserved for a different time. For now, that remains as it is, an anomaly.

Hit on the funny bone:

It is indeed funny admitting this. But at one point or another, you would have found this out. Looking back at my posts, I figured that I made some silly grammatical mistakes in writing. This is not a new observation. Therefore, I am embarrassingly placed with myself  that I could not avoid it. However, the good point is I am not hurt. Rather, these mistakes I made make me smile. And I recall, I am human too. And wordpress is yet to develop in terms of suggesting corrections! That is it for now.

Eagerly looking forward for another year of fascinating life and blogging…

Celebrating the Second Anniversary of My Dear Blog.

Dear Bay, 

Thanks to the real estate restrictions, I am pleasedat hell to share the corner with you. No one except you could have had the uncontrollable need to throw in a towel to reserve that place. Come the first opportunity to leave that place, I am off from there, for such a place is reserved for your uncorking highness! If you ever want to spare a thought for why I think I cannot afford to share your corner–which I know for sure your highness shouldn’t bother to, and even if you did, I am sure your highness has the brains only to read the lines as published–here are some of my thoughts.

Firstly, your highness has the ‘extra’ordinary sense that a workplace cannot be made a platform to promote religion. But, assuming you loved to one religion, I am downright misplaced on what your religion could be. Because, preaching a character after watching a movie..that is something only you can do. And placing that character, right beside a collection of your idols which include politicians, spiritual leaders, and then gods, I sometimes tended to think if you even understood what religion might mean, or for your highness religion lays low at the dust of your feet. Well! That apart, do you even have a sense that kissing those idols every time you walk in and out conveys different things to different people. For  sure, kissing is not the way you can idolize some one. But for your highness, the demi’gad’ may be it is acceptable.

Secondly, for a team that has less than dozen individuals, did you ever realize you were the only odd one in it? If you didn’t, realize it now. Knowing your highness’s lack of the necessity (ability) to see from the others’ perspective, let me spell this for you. Leaving others out of this, I find you as primarily an wonderful obnoxious weed who cannot be done away with. The fact that you hold the record for picking up the maximum number of fights at the workplace speaks a lot about your willingness to challenge yourself, and your effort to keep breaking your own records. I understand that I shouldn’t stand in contest with you for it is a glorious waste of your time, challenging someone as normal as I am. And hence, please take my apology again, and if necessary again and again. I could assist by maintaining a register of apologies, and I don’t expect to be reward by your highness, for the vision of your highness has it to make me blind. 

Thirdly, I have found out from your gospels over time, that what you do is the best, and what you don’t does not matter. Having learnt that, I would like to know what exactly you can do, apart from saying ‘PhD does not matter‘. Blame the vices of our minds having chosen to pursue the path most elders have tread, we are already pursuing one. However, if we could be educated on what is better, and if that education can come from a guru like you, probably we can hope to be on the path that can take us to heavens in shorter time, if not a state where life is unwanted again, attaining a kaksha of moksha. 

Fourthly, I have found that your highness has a way of speaking with the opposite sex. Oops! I am sorry. You are a demi’gad’ who is beyond sexes, and there is no opposite to yours; for you suggest us through your body language such as hugging the pillar while you talk to women, cleaning and biting nails when you speak to men, touching and kissing walls, making a beautiful cacophony with your seamless voice when others are working, and smiling aloud to shatter the hearts that were otherwise slogging their brains at work. 

Fifthly.. I think I can be spared for using ‘We’. We have all observed your highness being deeply admired by the qualities of Super Star Rajnikanth. How we wish you could show us some of his stunts! That apart, for us normal beings, Rajnikanth stands as a symbol of modesty and humbleness, and however far we are from him, we still try to learn those qualities. How we wish you helped us learn them! If only you could demonstrate a percentage of Rajni despite your highness not having any experience in any acting on stage, we could have benefited so largely off stage.

This is my earnest request hence, Mr. Bay. You are everything you are, as I have showered my love for you in this letter. But we find, you are still not Rajni who is more mortal for us to understand. Could you please teach us something practical henceforth? It would make waves in our hearts and rip out all the angst we had built for several reasons.

Thanks in anticipation that you find this letter, among your most other precious ones. And more thanks if you can spare some time to read and understand my feelings, and respond to them more in line with the noble profession we are in. 

Wishing you… or I am no one to wish you.

Filed under: My Fascinating Life Tagged: Admiration, Gospels, Lessons, Love, Noble Profession, Rajnikanth, Satire, Super Star ]]> http://vinaychaganti.org/2011/12/15/mr-bay-you-are-not-rajni/feed/ 0 17.371096 78.433983 17.371096 78.433983 Kumar Atreya http://vinaychaganti.org/2011/12/07/secretary-or-satan/ http://vinaychaganti.org/2011/12/07/secretary-or-satan/#comments Wed, 07 Dec 2011 06:06:32 +0000 Vinay Chaganti http://vinaychaganti.org/?p=3200 Continue reading →]]> Sometimes, I blog to vent my fumes. Today is one such occasion. Even more, this is the second time in less than a month, I am having to vent because of the same person. On the first occasion, as to my original way of learning, I saw that person as of different type. But as I am learning more, I realize that the difference she brings is more satanic.  And after today, I consider her as having done one too many irritating deeds.

Don’t mistake me as complaining on my boss; because this time around,  it is the department’s junior assistant who is creating trouble. To me, it seems as though she has got control on my time table. Whenever I meet her, not only do I end up getting bullshit (suggestions and looks-through-lens), but I am also being dictated on my priorities. Now, let me remind–this is the JUNIOR ASSISTANT. Sometimes, it is worthwhile to remind people of where they are, and what they are supposed to do.

Of a lot of things that she has done to cause my expression in this post, here are a few you might enjoy:

Me: Can I have a print out?

Her: For now, Yes. And do it only page after page. And the next time, give the prints from your system and collect it here. And don’t forget the page by page rule. So, come and keep inserting page after page when you give print from your system. 

Between the lines, I have to tell you, that her office and my office are a good 60 yards away. And what stupidity it must be–even as I understand the technical difficulty that forces the page by page print–to offer a suggestion like that!

Me: Here are the marks of the students.

Her: You could have considered giving more marks.

Me: But how?

Her: They are our students na! You should give them more marks.

What a way for a teacher to be dictated about how to evaluate and how to award marks!?

Me: Can I get a print out of the report I need to send to the Bulletin Committee?

As she prints, she looks at the matter, and then she says,

Her: The list of new joiners is put up in the wrong direction. It has to be put up in the order of seniority. The list of publications is put up in the wrong order, it has to be put up in the order of seniority. 

Me: But, new joiners are NEW, and the last person to join comes first on list. And publications have a date to control its order. 

Her: You must understand why I am suggesting. Listen to it, or face the consequences!

What happened later is part comical and part conventional.

And today,

Me: Can I have the spreadsheet with details of the students?

Her: I am working now. I will give it later. 

Looking at how she was struggling with simple Excel operations, I suggested,

Me: It takes only a second to copy. If you could, then I can continue my work for the day. 

Students walk in to the room to give her some data. She has the time to connect the USB device and copy the data. I recall her rejecting to connect my USB device complaining possible virus. And even as she was trying to refresh the explorer page to find the USB, she could have copied the data I wanted on the shared folder. She did not… and then, as I stood there watching the action, she says to me,

Her: Like I said, I am busy now. I will put it up on the shared folder. Give me time. I am doing a very important job. 

It is two hours since this happened. And in two minutes my post is alive and published. I see reasons to claim my department secretary as being more satanic than secretarial. There is strong evidence to the claim that she is inefficient, but that story is kept aside for another day. Hope she reads this!