Context provokes! Some recent experiences motivate me to retrospect about my leaving organizations, quite a few of them so far. A discussion with one of my friends (an old colleague too!) finally made me decide, I would be writing this–a recall of my experiences in leaving the organizations, reasons why I have left them, how I made those decisions, and how my decisions turned out to be. I have to caution here, to all those readers who are introspecting about their prospects of leaving an organization, that I think I am still too young to comment on these. But this effort is to clarify to myself, a few vague thoughts plaguing my mind.
Tata Chemicals: Ashish Pant was the HR Manager, and he was also my project guide at Mumbai. I was one among the six or eight interns selected to work with the organization for a couple of months in that year, 2006. I resigned from there after putting in close to forty-five days. Could not live through the last fifteen! I am still surprised at what I was thinking. When my manager asked me if I thought my decision was right, since all work places might be the same; I emphatically declared to him, “world is sufficiently big, and I would find a place that can take me in”. Today, his claim seems more valid than my assertion. Funny, but true! But did that decision hurt me? Really not. There are two reasons for this I think: firstly, it was internship, and not a job; secondly, those who have gone on to finish are really no better today. But both reasons are not really the right ones to make a quitting decision or even to justify it, as I understand today.
Intergraph Consulting: Vandana V was the HR Manager, and my project guide again. This place is a little different. Located at Hyderabad, fitting all my requirements for a good organization, this was a place fun to work at. I did finish my project before moving out. But I consider my decision of not accepting the job offer made to me, as perhaps the biggest mistake in my career. At that time, I had large number of offers to choose from, and the sole criteria (or the most tempting one!) was the salary offered. I chose Satyam Computers. What I did not realize was the value of joy of working and becoming family with the organization. Would I have been happy if I accepted the offer? May not be forever, but surely, by the time I am not happy, I would have learnt dealing with it.
Satyam Computers: Ravi Meduri was my manager in the first spell, and Ramana Tatavarthy in the second. My entire stint at Satyam was a walk in smoke with feet on fire, I must say. The decision to quit came when my dream invited me, a position in HR Team. Surprising it may be, but true! The conflict between my boss, and the HR Manager who wanted to take me into his team showed its affects on me, and I had to call the shots for once. When you know you can’t win the fight, the only other wise (or so I thought!) alternative is to quit. I did. Am I happy with the decision? No. Am I feeling bad about the decision? Not quite. Do I now think my decision was bad? Not really, but then I do miss the facilities of working with an organization that huge. Should I have considered staying? May be Yes, but then the fiasco that followed turned out my decision as a really wise one.
ATG Organizational Consulting Services: Chandu Sambasiva Rao was the director I reported to as a senior consultant in a small organization. Frankly, I found myself over qualified at this place. While it was true that I enjoyed talking and learning from Chandu (he was a consultant with Booz Allen for a long time), there was nothing much that motivated me to stay there. The decision to quit was long drawn with a decline in my efforts making my intentions clear. I have never considered leaving this place was bad, but then this was the time I realized the importance of working with an organization like Intergraph. But it was too late!
Ebenzer Consulting Private Limited: I was my own manager. I was making decisions. I was also working with another organization called Jayasimha Mind Dynamics, more for a consistent stream of income than for anything else. I did achieve things which I thought were out of my abilities, such as conducting a National Memory Championship with attendance exceeding two thousand–and I recall, I was assisted by only a couple of other hands in making up this show. The same confidence and zeal were put in Ebenzer, but I was missing something. I realized it was what I wanted to be, a teacher. Making the organization passive, and moving into academics seemed the right decision. The source of inspiration being my father, I would always think I made a right decision in this.
Top Universities in the World Vs. GITAM University: This was a tough decision to make. But I had one point clear in my head; that if I can’t achieve something staying with my parents who encourage me, then my dreams of achieving something in their absence is merely an illusion. And I had to meet the love of myself and tell her “I am here for you”. GITAM became the choice!
Full-time PhD Vs. Part-time PhD: The objective in coming to GITAM was to be employed as a teacher, and pursue my doctoral work in a part-time mode. But since recruitment does not happen at our will, I was (ill)advised to take up full-time doctoral work on a promise that I would be taken in as a teacher when the first opportunity comes. So they came, but only to be killed! After sixteen months, my proposal for research fellowship was killed, and an offer to be a teaching associate was made. Things were becoming clear that the system needed a teacher who could entertain a class of students, but not really someone who could publish and prove to be an able scholar. My goal was clear too, to be a well-read scholar first, without which I do not comprehend the idea of being an inspiring teacher. I had to make my decision to quit. I have now joined MVGR College of Engineering.
Many people asked me questions/presented their views on this decision. I have answered them/explained my perspective on a person to person basis. I am presenting them here too.
- Going from a University to an affiliated college is bad on resume.
- True. But staying in a University and not publishing too makes my resume equally damaging. Moreover, the affiliated college I have joined is a 160 year old institution, compared the university which is 30 years old. So, I assume better administration.
- Research is encouraged more in University than in an affiliated college.
- Being a Section 3 University does not give the scholars from that university, an opportunity to seek funding from UGC. However, a scholar, even from an affiliated college of an established university, could still get what he needs–on merit basis. Anyway, funding is a distance away from where I am. And publishing is more an individual effort, than a matter of institutional affiliation.
- Full-time to part-time conversion means delayed doctoral degree.
- Understood. But I am buying it, because a doctoral degree without sufficient conference attendance and networking may mean little.
- Quality of students in a university is much better.
- Couple of respected faculty members did not want to buy that statement. Nor do I take it. At the affiliated college level, I guess, discipline is out there too.
- Do you think this is a wise decision?
- I do not know. It depends on how things turn out in the next couple of years. Keep it simple: the notion of informed decision is flawed. If I were guaranteed a good future, I would have stayed back in my first organization. Since one can never see into future, decision depends on hope that is beyond information available while making it. I am hoping! So will you when you make a quitting decision–any decision for that matter.
I think now, I should have titled the post — a matter of hoping!
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